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Laws Of Life Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability - The probability of being watch is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law - If you change lines, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that something won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting/rug. Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law - If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Oliver's Law - A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson's Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctor's Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

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